I feel safe with you, Jule, and it terrifies me.
The idea of this being my new reality terrifies me.
Everything else terrifies me right about now.
In the German mythology the army of darkness is led by Hel, the personification of twilight, sunk to the goddess who enchains the dead and terrifies the living, and Loki, originally the god of fire, but afterwards "looked upon as the father of the evil powers, who strips the goddess of earth of her adornments, who robs Thor of his fertilizing hammer, and causes the death of Balder the beneficent sun."
You don't want to die, but the idea of living terrifies you as well.