I mean, this is supposed to be you starting your lives together, not hauling around your poor spinster of a friend who's about to be abandoned.
Abused spinster of a friend!
The old spinster is in a bad mood today.
Never more than a nominal wife at most, the unfortunate Stella commonly passed for his mistress till the day of her death (in her will she writes herself spinster), bearing her doom with uncomplaining resignation, and consoled in some degree by unquestionable proofs of the permanence of his love, if his feeling for her deserves the name.
The social reformer of the past is depicted as a dour spinster wielding an axe to break barrels of "Demon Rum."