He smiled to himself, enjoying the game they always played.
Arion dressed himself in his finest clothing.
The captain himself had been a robber.
Alex handed the reins to a caretaker and dusted himself off as he headed for the gate.
He thought of the number of times that he himself had been a coward.
Now he's gone and exposed himself to the world.
Smith says that if one man tried to make pins by himself, he might make one per day.
He looked pleased with himself until he saw Carmen.
He sauntered to the stove and poured himself another cup of steaming coffee.
To rid himself of them he closed his eyes.
"The execution of the Duc d'Enghien," declared Monsieur Pierre, "was a political necessity, and it seems to me that Napoleon showed greatness of soul by not fearing to take on himself the whole responsibility of that deed."
He wasn't trying to force himself on me.
Should I inform Merrill Cooms I'd been in contact with After, the investigative baby he himself had started?
Alex excused himself early and Carmen stayed downstairs with the children.
Howie would never ask Quinn himself; as always seeking one of us as a go-between.
"I don't know," he said at last and flung himself into a chair, planting his hands against his forehead.
Prince Vasili knew this, and having once realized that if he asked on behalf of all who begged of him, he would soon be unable to ask for himself, he became chary of using his influence.
He threw a leg over the ATV and settled himself on the seat with a grin.
As soon as he trotted out upon the surface of the river he found himself safe from pursuit, and Zeb was already running across the water toward Dorothy.
The vicomte was a nice-looking young man with soft features and polished manners, who evidently considered himself a celebrity but out of politeness modestly placed himself at the disposal of the circle in which he found himself.
Finally Royce could contain himself no longer.
Cassie had to smile when Bordeaux positioned himself in a spot less than ten feet from her and pretended to settle down for the night.
He took a mug from the cupboard and poured himself a cup of coffee.
At first the piglet stuck in the neck of the vase and I thought I should get him, after all, but he wriggled himself through and fell down into the deep bottom part--and I suppose he's there yet.
Schemes and devices for which he never rightly accounted to himself, but which formed the whole interest of his life, were constantly shaping themselves in his mind, arising from the circumstances and persons he met.
Maybe Señor Medena was trying to ingratiate himself with Alex.
He so busied himself with his silly telephone trick to call away the mother he didn't notice someone who must have been watching.
And the guy from California who got himself killed; him too.
Maybe the man owns a dog himself and Bumpus smelled the scent on him.
The brother Jude killed himself in jail and this guy was apparently seeking revenge.
By the time we'd finished our meal, with a piece of cake, there wasn't much time before the service was to begin and the pastor excused himself to prepare.
In a second bedroom, he sees himself, cowering beneath the cover, and biting back tears.
She didn't look at him, afraid of finding the devil himself in front of her.
He hoped, no he prayed, Darian regained himself someday soon.
He wanted to lose himself in her warmth and liveliness on his last night.
"Well, I know what that is," he said to himself; and he wrote the word _turnip_ on his slate.
Now the landlord prided himself upon keeping a first-class hotel, and he feared that his guests would not like the rough-looking traveler.
Sarcas himself could not have served the king half so well.
And now they would have spared him; but he was true to his promise,-- as soon as the song was finished, he threw himself headlong into the sea.
They say that Arion, being a good swimmer, kept himself afloat until this ship happened to pass by and rescued him from the waves.
He made himself known, and the captain willingly agreed to carry him back to his own country.
Why should he not cool himself in the refreshing water?
An old joke is about the city slicker who finds himself lost in the country.
Nor did he say to himself: "Pierre is a rich man, I must entice him to marry my daughter and lend me the forty thousand rubles I need."
Pierre maintained the contrary, and as his mental faculties were greater and more resourceful, Nicholas felt himself cornered.
Of course he is right there," said Countess Mary, "but he forgets that we have other duties nearer to us, duties indicated to us by God Himself, and that though we might expose ourselves to risks we must not risk our children."
Jonathan separated himself from the other children.
In other words, when he shook himself free of his current family, he would come to Dulce.
Alex might have convinced himself that he wanted a simpler lifestyle.
Alex might have convinced himself that he wanted a simpler lifestyle.
A four wheel ATV was parked next to the porch and Giddon stepped over it, seating himself as he turned the key.
Dismissing himself from the group, he strode to his horse and helped her down.
Was he including himself in that statement?
Maybe he would like a few evenings to himself and she was always underfoot.
He's got this weird thing like if he sees himself, he'll self-destruct or something.
Why would the second guy put himself at such risk?
We yacked the usual inanities for a few minutes until Howie excused himself to use the bathroom.
If he tried to follow a moving automobile, he could sometimes attach himself, if the vehicle was slow or stopped, but the act was tenuous at best.
Damian himself would be overjoyed, and Jule-- the third adopted brother in their threesome-- ecstatic.
Sofi would chew him out if he gave Bianca to her like she was, and he himself couldn't help but feel somewhat concerned that she'd gone unresponsive.
"You were right on about meeting the devil himself," Jenn answered.
He threw himself down in bed and closed his eyes.
"I spend an hour at the bottom of the ocean saving his ass because he decides to try and kill himself, and you give him milk and cookies!" he muttered.
"I don't believe it's possible," he said and then thought to himself, and because I'm not going to be alive too much longer.
He flung himself down in the chair again and propped up his forehead with his hands.
Before this crowned Gargoyle had recovered himself Zeb had wound a strap several times around its body, confining its wings and arms so that it could not move.
There was another famous artist whose name was Parrhasius. When he heard of the boast which Zeuxis had made, he said to himself, "I will see what I can do."
Hardly had they spoken these words when the door opened and Arion himself stood before them.
When he reached Scotland everybody was eager to hear him tell of his adventures, and he soon found himself famous.
When Daniel Defoe heard how Selkirk had lived alone on the island of Juan Fernandez, he said to himself: Here is something worth telling about.
The king himself was obliged to hide in the wild woods while his foes hunted for him with hounds.
He wished to teach you that no man should feel himself too fine to carry his own packages.
The poor man could do nothing but dress himself and go sorrowing on his way.
He soon found a warm corner, and there he lay down, covering himself with the straw.
"Here!" cried the child himself, darting out from his hiding place.
He knocked at the door and the wise man himself opened it.
In Othello is a character named Iago, an evil man who never does anything illegal himself but is always planting ideas in other people's minds, to get them to do his dirty work.
And so He loved men Himself and though they were very cruel to Him and at last killed Him, He was willing to die for them because He loved them so.
After the first year or two Dr. Howe did not teach Laura Bridgman himself, but gave her over to other teachers, who under his direction carried on the work of teaching her language.
The child comes into the world with the ability to learn, and he learns of himself, provided he is supplied with sufficient outward stimulus.
Whereas, if the child is left to himself, he will think more and better, if less showily.
Let him go and come freely, let him touch real things and combine his impressions for himself, instead of sitting indoors at a little round table, while a sweet-voiced teacher suggests that he build a stone wall with his wooden blocks, or make a rainbow out of strips of coloured paper, or plant straw trees in bead flower-pots.
We had Helen's picture taken with a fuzzy, red-eyed little poodle, who got himself into my lady's good graces by tricks and cunning devices known only to dogs with an instinct for getting what they want.
Their pleasure charmed away King Frost's anger, and he, too, began to admire the painted trees, and at last he said to himself, My treasures are not wasted if they make little children happy.
King Sun laughed softly to himself when the delicate jars began to melt and break.
He said to himself, My treasures are not wasted if they make little children happy.
The traveller who stops at the best houses, so called, soon discovers this, for the publicans presume him to be a Sardanapalus, and if he resigned himself to their tender mercies he would soon be completely emasculated.
The best works of art are the expression of man's struggle to free himself from this condition, but the effect of our art is merely to make this low state comfortable and that higher state to be forgotten.
The student who secures his coveted leisure and retirement by systematically shirking any labor necessary to man obtains but an ignoble and unprofitable leisure, defrauding himself of the experience which alone can make leisure fruitful.
Man is an animal who more than any other can adapt himself to all climates and circumstances.
The laborer's day ends with the going down of the sun, and he is then free to devote himself to his chosen pursuit, independent of his labor; but his employer, who speculates from month to month, has no respite from one end of the year to the other.
One of his father's ministers having discovered him, revealed to him what he was, and the misconception of his character was removed, and he knew himself to be a prince.
God himself culminates in the present moment, and will never be more divine in the lapse of all the ages.
I know a woodchopper, of middle age, who takes a French paper, not for news as he says, for he is above that, but to "keep himself in practice," he being a Canadian by birth; and when I ask him what he considers the best thing he can do in this world, he says, beside this, to keep up and add to his English.
A man must find his occasions in himself, it is true.
When the night arrived, to quote their own words--He laid us on the bed with himself and his wife, they at the one end and we at the other, it being only planks laid a foot from the ground and a thin mat upon them.
If you told him that such a one was coming, he did as if he thought that anything so grand would expect nothing of himself, but take all the responsibility on itself, and let him be forgotten still.
A townsman told me that when he met him sauntering through the village in his small close-fitting cap, and whistling to himself, he reminded him of a prince in disguise.
Though he hesitated, and perhaps failed to express himself distinctly, he always had a presentable thought behind.
That's Roman wormwood--that's pigweed--that's sorrel--that's piper-grass--have at him, chop him up, turn his roots upward to the sun, don't let him have a fibre in the shade, if you do he'll turn himself t' other side up and be as green as a leek in two days.
I saw an old man the other day, to my astonishment, making the holes with a hoe for the seventieth time at least, and not for himself to lie down in!
Sometimes, when I pushed off my boat in the morning, I disturbed a great mud-turtle which had secreted himself under the boat in the night.
He teaches how to eat, drink, cohabit, void excrement and urine, and the like, elevating what is mean, and does not falsely excuse himself by calling these things trifles.
But why, after displaying so much cunning, did he invariably betray himself the moment he came up by that loud laugh?
It chanced that I walked that way across the fields the following night, about the same hour, and hearing a low moaning at this spot, I drew near in the dark, and discovered the only survivor of the family that I know, the heir of both its virtues and its vices, who alone was interested in this burning, lying on his stomach and looking over the cellar wall at the still smouldering cinders beneath, muttering to himself, as is his wont.
There lay his old clothes curled up by use, as if they were himself, upon his raised plank bed.
But no friendly Indian concerned himself about me; nor needed he, for the master of the house was at home.
Perhaps I shall hear a solitary loon laugh as he dives and plumes himself, or shall see a lonely fisher in his boat, like a floating leaf, beholding his form reflected in the waves, where lately a hundred men securely labored.
Not seeing any ducks, he hid his boat on the north or back side of an island in the pond, and then concealed himself in the bushes on the south side, to await them.
The wild goose is more of a cosmopolite than we; he breaks his fast in Canada, takes a luncheon in the Ohio, and plumes himself for the night in a southern bayou.
Shall a man go and hang himself because he belongs to the race of pygmies, and not be the biggest pygmy that he can?
It is not a man's duty, as a matter of course, to devote himself to the eradication of any, even the most enormous wrong; he may still properly have other concerns to engage him; but it is his duty, at least, to wash his hands of it, and, if he gives it no thought longer, not to give it practically his support.
Let him see that he does only what belongs to himself and to the hour.
He told me himself that all the Moscow ladies have conspired to give him all their sons as adjutants.
"Yes, if having obtained power, without availing himself of it to commit murder he had restored it to the rightful king, I should have called him a great man," remarked the vicomte.
Here he could contain himself no longer and went on, between gasps of laughter: "And the whole world knew...."
I pity the poor husband, that little officer who gives himself the airs of a monarch.
Prince Andrew shook himself as if waking up, and his face assumed the look it had had in Anna Pavlovna's drawing room.
"No, he thinks only of himself," muttered the princess without restraining her angry tears.
And if Pierre was often struck by Andrew's lack of capacity for philosophical meditation (to which he himself was particularly addicted), he regarded even this not as a defect but as a sign of strength.
Dolokhov was holding the Englishman's hand and clearly and distinctly repeating the terms of the bet, addressing himself particularly to Anatole and Pierre.
Dolokhov turned round and, again holding on with both hands, arranged himself on his seat.
The man who had wished to stop the affair ran to a corner of the room and threw himself on a sofa with his face to the wall.
And to think it is Cyril Vladimirovich Bezukhov's son who amuses himself in this sensible manner!
There's no one to interest himself for him.
We will see how Taras distinguishes himself today.
But before Pierre--who at that moment imagined himself to be Napoleon in person and to have just effected the dangerous crossing of the Straits of Dover and captured London--could pronounce Pitt's sentence, he saw a well-built and handsome young officer entering his room.
Boris felt that Pierre did not recognize him but did not consider it necessary to introduce himself, and without experiencing the least embarrassment looked Pierre straight in the face.
And Boris, having apparently relieved himself of an onerous duty and extricated himself from an awkward situation and placed another in it, became quite pleasant again.
His conversation always related entirely to himself; he would remain calm and silent when the talk related to any topic that had no direct bearing on himself.
His father lies on his deathbed and he amuses himself setting a policeman astride a bear!
The count, holding his cards fanwise, kept himself with difficulty from dropping into his usual after-dinner nap, and laughed at everything.
"Nicholas is going away in a week's time, his... papers... have come... he told me himself... but still I should not cry," and she showed a paper she held in her hand--with the verses Nicholas had written, "still, I should not cry, but you can't... no one can understand... what a soul he has!"
But Nicholas is my cousin... one would have to... the Metropolitan himself... and even then it can't be done.
Yes, these verses Nicholas wrote himself and I copied some others, and she found them on my table and said she'd show them to Mamma, and that I was ungrateful, and that Mamma would never allow him to marry me, but that he'll marry Julie.
Nicholas will tell her himself, and he doesn't care at all for Julie.
The Military Governor himself? was being asked at the other side of the room.
Rousing himself, Pierre followed Anna Mikhaylovna out of the carriage, and only then began to think of the interview with his dying father which awaited him.
Prince Vasili in front of the door, near the invalid chair, a wax taper in his left hand, was leaning his left arm on the carved back of a velvet chair he had turned round for the purpose, and was crossing himself with his right hand, turning his eyes upward each time he touched his forehead.
He lit it and, distracted by observing those around him, began crossing himself with the hand that held the taper.
Though in the new reign he was free to return to the capitals, he still continued to live in the country, remarking that anyone who wanted to see him could come the hundred miles from Moscow to Bald Hills, while he himself needed no one and nothing.
He was himself always occupied: writing his memoirs, solving problems in higher mathematics, turning snuffboxes on a lathe, working in the garden, or superintending the building that was always going on at his estate.
He took the exercise book containing lessons in geometry written by himself and drew up a chair with his foot.
He patted her on the shoulder and himself closed the door after her.
Prince Andrew apparently knew this as well as Tikhon; he looked at his watch as if to ascertain whether his father's habits had changed since he was at home last, and, having assured himself that they had not, he turned to his wife.
"The past always seems good," said he, "but did not Suvorov himself fall into a trap Moreau set him, and from which he did not know how to escape?"
Andrew understood, crossed himself and kissed the icon.
"Hm... Hm..." muttered the old prince to himself, finishing what he was writing.
He walked about in front of the line and at every step pulled himself up, slightly arching his back.
The regimental commander, going up to the line himself, ordered the soldiers to change into their greatcoats.
"Att-ention!" shouted the regimental commander in a soul-shaking voice which expressed joy for himself, severity for the regiment, and welcome for the approaching chief.
Everybody said that Buonaparte himself was at Braunau.
It was evident that Kutuzov himself listened with pleasure to his own voice.
His face expressed more satisfaction with himself and those around him, his smile and glance were brighter and more attractive.
He took out a notebook, hurriedly scribbled something in pencil, tore out the leaf, gave it to Kozlovski, stepped quickly to the window, and threw himself into a chair, gazing at those in the room as if asking, "Why do they look at me?"
Then he lifted his head, stretched his neck as if he intended to say something, but immediately, with affected indifference, began to hum to himself, producing a queer sound which immediately broke off.
Then wrinkles ran over his face like a wave and his forehead became smooth again, he bowed his head respectfully, closed his eyes, silently let Mack enter his room before him, and closed the door himself behind him.
*(2) Only a hobbledehoy could amuse himself in this way, he added in Russian--but pronouncing the word with a French accent--having noticed that Zherkov could still hear him.
"He has weported himself sick, he's to be stwuck off the list tomowwow," muttered Denisov.
But despite himself, on his face too that same indication of something new and stern showed round the mouth.
It seemed to Rostov that Bogdanich was only pretending not to notice him, and that his whole aim now was to test the cadet's courage, so he drew himself up and looked around him merrily; then it seemed to him that Bogdanich rode so near in order to show him his courage.
After his dismissal from headquarters Zherkov had not remained in the regiment, saying he was not such a fool as to slave at the front when he could get more rewards by doing nothing on the staff, and had succeeded in attaching himself as an orderly officer to Prince Bagration.
These were the questions each man of the troops on the high ground above the bridge involuntarily asked himself with a sinking heart--watching the bridge and the hussars in the bright evening light and the blue tunics advancing from the other side with their bayonets and guns.
On the twenty-eighth of October Kutuzov with his army crossed to the left bank of the Danube and took up a position for the first time with the river between himself and the main body of the French.
Reviewing his impressions of the recent battle, picturing pleasantly to himself the impression his news of a victory would create, or recalling the send-off given him by the commander-in-chief and his fellow officers, Prince Andrew was galloping along in a post chaise enjoying the feelings of a man who has at length begun to attain a long-desired happiness.
Then he began to imagine that the Russians were running away and that he himself was killed, but he quickly roused himself with a feeling of joy, as if learning afresh that this was not so but that on the contrary the French had run away.
It was already quite dark when Prince Andrew rattled over the paved streets of Brunn and found himself surrounded by high buildings, the lights of shops, houses, and street lamps, fine carriages, and all that atmosphere of a large and active town which is always so attractive to a soldier after camp life.
He again vividly recalled the details of the battle, no longer dim, but definite and in the concise form in which he imagined himself stating them to the Emperor Francis.
Bolkonski, very modestly without once mentioning himself, described the engagement and his reception by the Minister of War.
"Yes, that all happened!" he said, and, smiling happily to himself like a child, he fell into a deep, youthful slumber.
He has a passion for giving audiences, but he does not like talking himself and can't do it, as you will see.
Before returning to Bilibin's Prince Andrew had gone to a bookshop to provide himself with some books for the campaign, and had spent some time in the shop.
Kutuzov himself, he was told, was in the house with Prince Bagration and Weyrother.
If Kutuzov decided to remain at Krems, Napoleon's army of one hundred and fifty thousand men would cut him off completely and surround his exhausted army of forty thousand, and he would find himself in the position of Mack at Ulm.
Kutuzov himself with all his transport took the road to Znaim.
Bonaparte himself, not trusting to his generals, moved with all the Guards to the field of battle, afraid of letting a ready victim escape, and Bagration's four thousand men merrily lighted campfires, dried and warmed themselves, cooked their porridge for the first time for three days, and not one of them knew or imagined what was in store for him.
Between three and four o'clock in the afternoon Prince Andrew, who had persisted in his request to Kutuzov, arrived at Grunth and reported himself to Bagration.
"Thank you very much, I will go on alone," said Prince Andrew, wishing to rid himself of this staff officer's company, "please don't trouble yourself further."
Prince Andrew, being always near the commander in chief, closely following the mass movements and general orders, and constantly studying historical accounts of battles, involuntarily pictured to himself the course of events in the forthcoming action in broad outline.
Prince Andrew asked himself as he looked.
The general in command of the infantry went toward his horse with jerky steps, and having mounted drew himself up very straight and tall and rode to the Pavlograd commander.
The troops of the left flank, infantry and hussars alike, felt that the commander did not himself know what to do, and this irresolution communicated itself to the men.
"Where, on which side, was now the line that had so sharply divided the two armies?" he asked himself and could not answer.
He imagined himself as an enormously tall, powerful man who was throwing cannon balls at the French with both hands.
Rostov, too, dragged himself to the fire.
Something always drew him toward those richer and more powerful than himself and he had rare skill in seizing the most opportune moment for making use of people.
Pierre, on unexpectedly becoming Count Bezukhov and a rich man, felt himself after his recent loneliness and freedom from cares so beset and preoccupied that only in bed was he able to be by himself.
Besides, he had no time to ask himself whether these people were sincere or not.
When he read that sentence, Pierre felt for the first time that some link which other people recognized had grown up between himself and Helene, and that thought both alarmed him, as if some obligation were being imposed on him which he could not fulfill, and pleased him as an entertaining supposition.
Why did this thought never occur to me before? and again he told himself that it was impossible, that there would be something unnatural, and as it seemed to him dishonorable, in this marriage.
But at the very time he was expressing this conviction to himself, in another part of his mind her image rose in all its womanly beauty.
He had arranged this for himself so as to visit his neglected estates at the same time and pick up his son Anatole where his regiment was stationed, and take him to visit Prince Nicholas Bolkonski in order to arrange a match for him with the daughter of that rich old man.
"This is all very fine, but things must be settled," said Prince Vasili to himself, with a sorrowful sigh, one morning, feeling that Pierre who was under such obligations to him ("But never mind that") was not behaving very well in this matter.
Every day he said to himself one and the same thing: It is time I understood her and made up my mind what she really is.
No, she is not stupid, she is an excellent girl," he sometimes said to himself "she never makes a mistake, never says anything stupid.
He wished to take a decision, but felt with dismay that in this matter he lacked that strength of will which he had known in himself and really possessed.
Shaking himself, he rose, threw back his head, and with resolute steps went past the ladies into the little drawing room.
He shaved and scented himself with the care and elegance which had become habitual to him and, his handsome head held high, entered his father's room with the good-humored and victorious air natural to him.
"And didn't Hippolyte tell you?" asked Prince Vasili, turning to his son and seizing the little princess' arm as if she would have run away and he had just managed to catch her, "didn't he tell you how he himself was pining for the dear princess, and how she showed him the door?
The question was whether he could ever bring himself to part from his daughter and give her to a husband.
"Well, I've nothing against it," the prince said to himself, "but he must be worthy of her.
The insult was the more pointed because it concerned not himself but another, his daughter, whom he loved more than himself.
He kept telling himself that he would consider the whole matter and decide what was right and how he should act, but instead of that he only excited himself more and more.
The old prince knew that if he told his daughter she was making a mistake and that Anatole meant to flirt with Mademoiselle Bourienne, Princess Mary's self-esteem would be wounded and his point (not to be parted from her) would be gained, so pacifying himself with this thought, he called Tikhon and began to undress.
Now I'm very glad, very glad indeed, that my brother has distinguished himself so.
About some Denisov or other, though he himself, I dare say, is braver than any of them.
His hearers expected a story of how beside himself and all aflame with excitement, he had flown like a storm at the square, cut his way in, slashed right and left, how his saber had tasted flesh and he had fallen exhausted, and so on.
Seeing that smile, Rostov involuntarily smiled himself and felt a still stronger flow of love for his sovereign.
Rostov too, bending over his saddle, shouted "Hurrah!" with all his might, feeling that he would like to injure himself by that shout, if only to express his rapture fully.
Rostov himself, his legs well back and his stomach drawn in and feeling himself one with his horse, rode past the Emperor with a frowning but blissful face "like a vewy devil," as Denisov expressed it.
Commanded by the Emperor himself they could not fail to vanquish anyone, be it whom it might: so thought Rostov and most of the officers after the review.
The day after the review, Boris, in his best uniform and with his comrade Berg's best wishes for success, rode to Olmutz to see Bolkonski, wishing to profit by his friendliness and obtain for himself the best post he could--preferably that of adjutant to some important personage, a position in the army which seemed to him most attractive.
We shall see whether he cannot attach you to himself or find a place for you somewhere nearer the sun.
Under cover of obtaining help of this kind for another, which from pride he would never accept for himself, he kept in touch with the circle which confers success and which attracted him.
Boris was excited by the thought of being so close to the higher powers as he felt himself to be at that moment.
He wished to explain to Dolgorukov a plan of attack he had himself formed.
Weyrother evidently felt himself to be at the head of a movement that had already become unrestrainable.
In the large drawing room which had become the commander in chief's office were gathered Kutuzov himself, Weyrother, and the members of the council of war.
Prince Andrew came in to inform the commander-in-chief of this and, availing himself of permission previously given him by Kutuzov to be present at the council, he remained in the room.
Weyrother, with the gesture of a man too busy to lose a moment, glanced at Kutuzov and, having convinced himself that he was asleep, took up a paper and in a loud, monotonous voice began to read out the dispositions for the impending battle, under a heading which he also read out:
"A geography lesson!" he muttered as if to himself, but loud enough to be heard.
He thought of her pregnancy and felt sorry for her and for himself, and in a nervously emotional and softened mood he went out of the hut in which he was billeted with Nesvitski and began to walk up and down before it.
"Well then," Prince Andrew answered himself, "I don't know what will happen and don't want to know, and can't, but if I want this--want glory, want to be known to men, want to be loved by them, it is not my fault that I want it and want nothing but that and live only for that.
His hussars were placed along the line in couples and he himself rode along the line trying to master the sleepiness that kept coming over him.
He readjusted himself in the saddle and touched up his horse to ride once more round his hussars.
The fires and shouting in the enemy's army were occasioned by the fact that while Napoleon's proclamation was being read to the troops the Emperor himself rode round his bivouacs.
As soon as an Austrian officer showed himself near a commanding officer's quarters, the regiment began to move: the soldiers ran from the fires, thrust their pipes into their boots, their bags into the carts, got their muskets ready, and formed rank.
The whole French army, and even Napoleon himself with his staff, were not on the far side of the streams and hollows of Sokolnitz and Schlappanitz beyond which we intended to take up our position and begin the action, but were on this side, so close to our own forces that Napoleon with the naked eye could distinguish a mounted man from one on foot.
What are they doing? he murmured to himself, still not replying to the Austrian.
Overtaking the battalions that continued to advance, he stopped the third division and convinced himself that there really were no sharpshooters in front of our columns.
Miloradovich wheeled his horse sharply and stationed himself a little behind the Emperor.
Nesvitski with an angry face, red and unlike himself, was shouting to Kutuzov that if he did not ride away at once he would certainly be taken prisoner.
Another in the same place turned round and fired in the air; a third was striking the horse Kutuzov himself rode.
A mounted general separated himself from the infantry and approached Kutuzov.
And suddenly he was seized by a panic of fear for himself and for the issue of the whole battle.
They've all bolted long ago! said the soldier, laughing for some reason and shaking himself free.
He tried to right himself but fell in up to his waist.
His head was burning, he felt himself bleeding to death, and he saw above him the remote, lofty, and everlasting sky.
He knew it was Napoleon--his hero--but at that moment Napoleon seemed to him such a small, insignificant creature compared with what was passing now between himself and that lofty infinite sky with the clouds flying over it.
There's the corner at the crossroads, where the cabman, Zakhar, has his stand, and there's Zakhar himself and still the same horse!
"Vasili Denisov, your son's friend," he said, introducing himself to the count, who was looking inquiringly at him.
After a short period of adapting himself to the old conditions of life, Nicholas found it very pleasant to be at home again.
"Really, Papa, I believe Prince Bagration worried himself less before the battle of Schon Grabern than you do now," said his son with a smile.
Bagration was embarrassed, not wishing to avail himself of their courtesy, and this caused some delay at the doors, but after all he did at last enter first.
But the author himself took the verses and began reading them aloud.
He held the pistol in his right hand at arm's length, apparently afraid of shooting himself with it.
His left hand was bloody; he wiped it on his coat and supported himself with it.
Dolokhov lowered his head to the snow, greedily bit at it, again raised his head, adjusted himself, drew in his legs and sat up, seeking a firm center of gravity.
"Yes, I never loved her," said he to himself; "I knew she was a depraved woman," he repeated, "but dared not admit it to myself.
"It is all, all her fault," he said to himself; "but what of that?
But at the moment when he imagined himself calmed by such reflections, she suddenly came into his mind as she was at the moments when he had most strongly expressed his insincere love for her, and he felt the blood rush to his heart and had again to get up and move about and break and tear whatever came to his hand.
Rostov noticed something new in Dolokhov's relations with Sonya, but he did not explain to himself what these new relations were.
His approaching departure did not prevent his amusing himself, but rather gave zest to his pleasures.
Little as Nicholas had occupied himself with Sonya of late, something seemed to give way within him at this news.
Only on horse back and in the mazurka was Denisov's short stature not noticeable and he looked the fine fellow he felt himself to be.
Denisov, flushed after the mazurka and mopping himself with his handkerchief, sat down by Natasha and did not leave her for the rest of the evening.
And it's not my fault either," he thought to himself, "I have done nothing wrong.
"You owe forty-three thousand, Count," said Dolokhov, and stretching himself he rose from the table.
And suddenly, in the most casual tone, which made him feel ashamed of himself, he said, as if merely asking his father to let him have the carriage to drive to town:
"It can't be helped It happens to everyone!" said the son, with a bold, free, and easy tone, while in his soul he regarded himself as a worthless scoundrel whose whole life could not atone for his crime.
It was as if she wanted to show him that his losses were an achievement that made her love him all the more, but Nicholas now considered himself unworthy of her.
It is good for me, bad for another traveler, and for himself it's unavoidable, because he needs money for food; the man said an officer had once given him a thrashing for letting a private traveler have the courier horses.
When everything was ready, the stranger opened his eyes, moved to the table, filled a tumbler with tea for himself and one for the beardless old man to whom he passed it.
The important mystery mentioned by the Rhetor, though it aroused his curiosity, did not seem to him essential, and the second aim, that of purifying and regenerating himself, did not much interest him because at that moment he felt with delight that he was already perfectly cured of his former faults and was ready for all that was good.
Pierre gradually began to recover himself and looked about at the room and at the people in it.
Two of the brothers led Pierre up to the altar, placed his feet at right angles, and bade him lie down, saying that he must prostrate himself at the Gates of the Temple.
Pierre himself grew still more confused, blushed like a child till tears came to his eyes, began looking about him uneasily, and an awkward pause followed.
Pierre tried several times to speak, but, on one hand, Prince Vasili did not let him and, on the other, Pierre himself feared to begin to speak in the tone of decided refusal and disagreement in which he had firmly resolved to answer his father-in-law.
He blinked, went red, got up and sat down again, struggling with himself to do what was for him the most difficult thing in life--to say an unpleasant thing to a man's face, to say what the other, whoever he might be, did not expect.
"Go!" he repeated, amazed at himself and glad to see the look of confusion and fear that showed itself on Prince Vasili's face.
Thanks to Anna Mikhaylovna's efforts, his own tastes, and the peculiarities of his reserved nature, Boris had managed during his service to place himself very advantageously.
He himself carefully scanned each face, appraising the possibilities of establishing intimacy with each of those present, and the advantages that might accrue.
"It is the sword of Frederick the Great which I..." she began, but Hippolyte interrupted her with the words: "Le Roi de Prusse..." and again, as soon as all turned toward him, excused himself and said no more.
At first Prince Andrew read with his eyes only, but after a while, in spite of himself (although he knew how far it was safe to trust Bilibin), what he had read began to interest him more and more.
He shut his eyes, rubbed his forehead as if to rid himself of all interest in what he had read, and listened to what was passing in the nursery.
Despite Count Bezukhov's enormous wealth, since he had come into an income which was said to amount to five hundred thousand rubles a year, Pierre felt himself far poorer than when his father had made him an allowance of ten thousand rubles.
He consoled himself with the thought that he fulfilled another of the precepts--that of reforming the human race--and had other virtues--love of his neighbor, and especially generosity.
Prince Andrew led Pierre to his own apartments, which were always kept in perfect order and readiness for him in his father's house; he himself went to the nursery.
Perhaps at another time Denisov would not have left the regiment for so slight a wound, but now he took advantage of it to excuse himself from appearing at the staff and went into hospital.
But Rostov bowed himself away from the doctor and asked the assistant to show him the way.
"Yes, your honor," the soldier replied complacently, and rolling his eyes more than ever he drew himself up still straighter, but did not move.
He could not himself go to the general in attendance as he was in mufti and had come to Tilsit without permission to do so, and Boris, even had he wished to, could not have done so on the following day.
And suddenly with a determination he himself did not expect, Rostov felt for the letter in his pocket and went straight to the house.
Rostov, in dismay, began justifying himself, but seeing the kindly, jocular face of the general, he took him aside and in an excited voice told him the whole affair, asking him to intercede for Denisov, whom the general knew.
Beside himself with enthusiasm, Rostov ran after him with the crowd.
He caught himself harboring such strange thoughts that he was frightened.
There he found so many people, among them officers who, like himself, had come in civilian clothes, that he had difficulty in getting a dinner.
During this journey he, as it were, considered his life afresh and arrived at his old conclusion, restful in its hopelessness: that it was not for him to begin anything anew--but that he must live out his life, content to do no harm, and not disturbing himself or desiring anything.
Prince Andrew asked himself with instinctive curiosity.
During the dull day, in the course of which he was entertained by his elderly hosts and by the more important of the visitors (the old count's house was crowded on account of an approaching name day), Prince Andrew repeatedly glanced at Natasha, gay and laughing among the younger members of the company, and asked himself each time, What is she thinking about?
In his soul there suddenly arose such an unexpected turmoil of youthful thoughts and hopes, contrary to the whole tenor of his life, that unable to explain his condition to himself he lay down and fell asleep at once.
He did not even remember how formerly, on the strength of similar wretched logical arguments, it had seemed obvious that he would be degrading himself if he now, after the lessons he had had in life, allowed himself to believe in the possibility of being useful and in the possibility of happiness or love.
Soon after his arrival Prince Andrew, as a gentleman of the chamber, presented himself at court and at a levee.
It was clear that he thought it necessary to interest himself in Bolkonski.
Though he usually spoke easily and well, he felt a difficulty in expressing himself now while talking with Speranski.
Had Speranski sprung from the same class as himself and possessed the same breeding and traditions, Bolkonski would soon have discovered his weak, human, unheroic sides; but as it was, Speranski's strange and logical turn of mind inspired him with respect all the more because he did not quite understand him.
In Prince Andrew's eyes Speranski was the man he would himself have wished to be--one who explained all the facts of life reasonably, considered important only what was rational, and was capable of applying the standard of reason to everything.
Nearly two years before this, in 1808, Pierre on returning to Petersburg after visiting his estates had involuntarily found himself in a leading position among the Petersburg Freemasons.
He arranged dining and funeral lodge meetings, enrolled new members, and busied himself uniting various lodges and acquiring authentic charters.
Often after collecting alms, and reckoning up twenty to thirty rubles received for the most part in promises from a dozen members, of whom half were as well able to pay as himself, Pierre remembered the masonic vow in which each Brother promised to devote all his belongings to his neighbor, and doubts on which he tried not to dwell arose in his soul.
Pierre respected this class of Brothers to which the elder ones chiefly belonged, including, Pierre thought, Joseph Alexeevich himself, but he did not share their interests.
Even those members who seemed to be on his side understood him in their own way with limitations and alterations he could not agree to, as what he always wanted most was to convey his thought to others just as he himself understood it.
Napoleon himself had noticed her in the theater and said of her: "C'est un superbe animal." * Her success as a beautiful and elegant woman did not surprise Pierre, for she had become even handsomer than before.
But he went with the firm intention of letting her and her parents feel that the childish relations between himself and Natasha could not be binding either on her or on him.
The diplomatic corps and the Emperor himself were to be present.
Police were stationed at the brightly lit entrance which was carpeted with red baize, and not only gendarmes but dozens of police officers and even the police master himself stood at the porch.
Oh yes, that's the French ambassador himself! she replied to the countess' inquiry about Caulaincourt.
"If she goes to her cousin first and then to another lady, she will be my wife," said Prince Andrew to himself quite to his own surprise, as he watched her.
Then he vividly pictured to himself Bogucharovo, his occupations in the country, his journey to Ryazan; he remembered the peasants and Dron the village elder, and mentally applying to them the Personal Rights he had divided into paragraphs, he felt astonished that he could have spent so much time on such useless work.
Now this world disconcerted him no longer and was no longer alien to him, but he himself having entered it found in it a new enjoyment.
Pierre disturbed the symmetry by moving a chair for himself, and Berg and Vera immediately began their evening party, interrupting each other in their efforts to entertain their guest.
After Boris came a lady with the colonel, then the general himself, then the Rostovs, and the party became unquestionably exactly like all other evening parties.
The general sat down by Count Ilya Rostov, who was next to himself the most important guest.
"What has happened to her?" he asked himself with still greater surprise.
She felt that he wanted to say something to her but could not bring himself to do so.
He tried equally to avoid thinking about his wife, and about Natasha and Prince Andrew; and again everything seemed to him insignificant in comparison with eternity; again the question: for what? presented itself; and he forced himself to work day and night at masonic labors, hoping to drive away the evil spirit that threatened him.
He seldom laughed, but when he did he abandoned himself entirely to his laughter, and after such a laugh she always felt nearer to him.
All the complex laws of man centered for her in one clear and simple law--the law of love and self-sacrifice taught us by Him who lovingly suffered for mankind though He Himself was God.
Another borzoi, a dog, catching sight of his master from the garden path, arched his back and, rushing headlong toward the porch with lifted tail, began rubbing himself against his legs.
Daniel himself felt this, and as usual stood just inside the door, trying to speak softly and not move, for fear of breaking something in the master's apartment, and he hastened to say all that was necessary so as to get from under that ceiling, out into the open under the sky once more.
Having finished his inquiries and extorted from Daniel an opinion that the hounds were fit (Daniel himself wished to go hunting), Nicholas ordered the horses to be saddled.
The old count's horse, a sorrel gelding called Viflyanka, was led by the groom in attendance on him, while the count himself was to drive in a small trap straight to a spot reserved for him.
Nicholas asked himself as the wolf approached him coming from the copse.
Do you want a taste of this?... said the huntsman, pointing to his dagger and probably imagining himself still speaking to his foe.
Having ridden up to Nicholas, Ilagin raised his beaver cap and said he much regretted what had occurred and would have the man punished who had allowed himself to seize a fox hunted by someone else's borzois.
To expiate his huntsman's offense, Ilagin pressed the Rostovs to come to an upland of his about a mile away which he usually kept for himself and which, he said, swarmed with hares.
He spoke without himself knowing whom to or what about.
"Uncle" himself twisted up the hare, threw it neatly and smartly across his horse's back as if by that gesture he meant to rebuke everybody, and, with an air of not wishing to speak to anyone, mounted his bay and rode off.
Rugay, his back still muddy, came into the room and lay down on the sofa, cleaning himself with his tongue and teeth.
"Uncle" too was in high spirits and far from being offended by the brother's and sister's laughter (it could never enter his head that they might be laughing at his way of life) he himself joined in the merriment.
Without looking at anyone, "Uncle" blew the dust off it and, tapping the case with his bony fingers, tuned the guitar and settled himself in his armchair.
There was still the hunting establishment which Nicholas had enlarged.
I can always sacrifice my feelings for my family's welfare," he said to himself, "but I can't coerce my feelings.
Dimmler, who had seated himself beside the countess, listened with closed eyes.
He looked and recognizing in her both the old and the new Sonya, and being reminded by the smell of burnt cork of the sensation of her kiss, inhaled the frosty air with a full breast and, looking at the ground flying beneath him and at the sparkling sky, felt himself again in fairyland.
Had he not at one time longed with all his heart to establish a republic in Russia; then himself to be a Napoleon; then to be a philosopher; and then a strategist and the conqueror of Napoleon?
For a long time he could not reconcile himself to the idea that he was one of those same retired Moscow gentlemen-in-waiting he had so despised seven years before.
Sometimes he consoled himself with the thought that he was only living this life temporarily; but then he was shocked by the thought of how many, like himself, had entered that life and that club temporarily, with all their teeth and hair, and had only left it when not a single tooth or hair remained.
It was too dreadful to be under the burden of these insoluble problems, so he abandoned himself to any distraction in order to forget them.
But under the influence of wine he said to himself: It doesn't matter.
She did not go out into society; everyone knew that her father would not let her go anywhere without him, and his failing health prevented his going out himself, so that she was not invited to dinners and evening parties.
But he could not restrain himself and with the virulence of which only one who loves is capable, evidently suffering himself, he shook his fists at her and screamed:
"His Majesty drew attention to the Grenadier division and to the march past," continued the general, "and it seems the ambassador took no notice and allowed himself to reply that: 'We in France pay no attention to such trifles!'
He spent every day and whole days at the Karagins', and every day on thinking the matter over told himself that he would propose tomorrow.
He checked himself in the middle of the sentence, lowered his eyes to avoid seeing her unpleasantly irritated and irresolute face, and said:
Natasha did not understand what he was saying any more than he did himself, but she felt that his incomprehensible words had an improper intention.
Anatole had very soon abandoned his wife and, for a payment which he agreed to send to his father-in-law, had arranged to be free to pass himself off as a bachelor.
Anatole was always content with his position, with himself, and with others.
Dolokhov, who needed Anatole Kuragin's name, position, and connections as a bait to draw rich young men into his gambling set, made use of him and amused himself at his expense without letting the other feel it.
With others Balaga bargained, charging twenty-five rubles for a two hours' drive, and rarely drove himself, generally letting his young men do so.
But with "his gentlemen" he always drove himself and never demanded anything for his work.
On entering the room now he crossed himself, turning toward the front corner of the room, and went up to Dolokhov, holding out a small, black hand.
From the pretense of illness, from his daughter's distress, and by the embarrassed faces of Sonya and Marya Dmitrievna, the count saw clearly that something had gone wrong during his absence, but it was so terrible for him to think that anything disgraceful had happened to his beloved daughter, and he so prized his own cheerful tranquillity, that he avoided inquiries and tried to assure himself that nothing particularly had happened; and he was only dissatisfied that her indisposition delayed their return to the country.
"They are all alike!" he said to himself, reflecting that he was not the only man unfortunate enough to be tied to a bad woman.
Pierre, taking him by the arm, pulled him toward himself and was leading him from the room.
"You're a scoundrel and a blackguard, and I don't know what deprives me from the pleasure of smashing your head with this!" said Pierre, expressing himself so artificially because he was talking French.
Pierre took the letter Anatole handed him and, pushing aside a table that stood in his way, threw himself on the sofa.
Man lives consciously for himself, but is an unconscious instrument in the attainment of the historic, universal, aims of humanity.
Oh, when he takes it in hand himself, things get hot... by heaven!...
Boris, coolly looking at Helene's dazzling bare shoulders which emerged from a dark, gold-embroidered, gauze gown, talked to her of old acquaintances and at the same time, unaware of it himself and unnoticed by others, never for an instant ceased to observe the Emperor who was in the same room.
In fact, the ambassador, as he himself has declared, was never authorized to make that demand, and as soon as I was informed of it I let him know how much I disapproved of it and ordered him to remain at his post.
Davout allowed himself that pleasure when Balashev was brought in.
Nothing outside himself had any significance for him, because everything in the world, it seemed to him, depended entirely on his will.
Balashev recovered himself and began to speak.
The whole purport of his remarks now was evidently to exalt himself and insult Alexander--just what he had least desired at the commencement of the interview.
He evidently wanted to do all the talking himself, and continued to talk with the sort of eloquence and unrestrained irritability to which spoiled people are so prone.
But no, he has preferred to surround himself with my enemies, and with whom?
Their king was insane and they changed him for another-- Bernadotte, who promptly went mad--for no Swede would ally himself with Russia unless he were mad.
Napoleon was in that state of irritability in which a man has to talk, talk, and talk, merely to convince himself that he is in the right.
He knew that none of the words now uttered by Napoleon had any significance, and that Napoleon himself would be ashamed of them when he came to his senses.
Napoleon was in that well-known after-dinner mood which, more than any reasoned cause, makes a man contented with himself and disposed to consider everyone his friend.
Why has he taken on himself such a responsibility?
As a general on duty on Kutuzov's staff, he applied himself to business with zeal and perseverance and surprised Kutuzov by his willingness and accuracy in work.
He sought in himself either remorse for having angered his father or regret at leaving home for the first time in his life on bad terms with him, and was horrified to find neither.
What meant still more to him was that he sought and did not find in himself the former tenderness for his son which he had hoped to reawaken by caressing the boy and taking him on his knee.
To clear up this last point for himself, Prince Andrew, utilizing his position and acquaintances, tried to fathom the character of the control of the army and of the men and parties engaged in it, and he deduced for himself the following of the state of affairs.
With Pfuel was Wolzogen, who expressed Pfuel's thoughts in a more comprehensible way than Pfuel himself (who was a harsh, bookish theorist, self-confident to the point of despising everyone else) was able to do.
Of a fourth opinion the most conspicuous representative was the Tsarevich, who could not forget his disillusionment at Austerlitz, where he had ridden out at the head of the Guards, in his casque and cavalry uniform as to a review, expecting to crush the French gallantly; but unexpectedly finding himself in the front line had narrowly escaped amid the general confusion.
Another who wished to gain some advantage would attract the Emperor's attention by loudly advocating the very thing the Emperor had hinted at the day before, and would dispute and shout at the council, beating his breast and challenging those who did not agree with him to duels, thereby proving that he was prepared to sacrifice himself for the common good.
Prince Andrew had an opportunity of getting a good look at him, for Pfuel arrived soon after himself and, in passing through to the drawing room, stopped a minute to speak to Chernyshev.
A Frenchman is self-assured because he regards himself personally, both in mind and body, as irresistibly attractive to men and women.
An Italian is self-assured because he is excitable and easily forgets himself and other people.
Pfuel only snorted contemptuously and turned away, to show that he would never demean himself by replying to such nonsense as he was now hearing.
Of all those present, evidently he alone was not seeking anything for himself, nursed no hatred against anyone, and only desired that the plan, formed on a theory arrived at by years of toil, should be carried out.
From the tone in which the courtiers addressed him and the way Paulucci had allowed himself to speak of him to the Emperor, but above all from a certain desperation in Pfuel's own expressions, it was clear that the others knew, and Pfuel himself felt, that his fall was at hand.
Bagration was the best, Napoleon himself admitted that.
So thought Prince Andrew as he listened to the talking, and he roused himself only when Paulucci called him and everyone was leaving.
Since the campaigns of Austerlitz and of 1807 Rostov knew by experience that men always lie when describing military exploits, as he himself had done when recounting them; besides that, he had experience enough to know that nothing happens in war at all as we can imagine or relate it.
And so he did not like Zdrzhinski's tale, nor did he like Zdrzhinski himself who, with his mustaches extending over his cheeks, bent low over the face of his hearer, as was his habit, and crowded Rostov in the narrow shanty.
Without greeting the officers, he scratched himself and asked to be allowed to pass as they were blocking the way.
When campaigning, Rostov allowed himself the indulgence of riding not a regimental but a Cossack horse.
A judge of horses and a sportsman, he had lately procured himself a large, fine, mettlesome, Donets horse, dun-colored, with light mane and tail, and when he rode it no one could outgallop him.
Drawing himself up, he viewed the field of battle opening out before him from the hill, and with his whole soul followed the movement of the uhlans.
A captain, standing beside him, was gazing like himself with eyes fixed on the cavalry below them.
Rostov himself did not know how or why he did it.
One Uhlan stopped, another who was on foot flung himself to the ground to avoid being knocked over, and a riderless horse fell in among the hussars.
On the way he came upon a bush, his gallant horse cleared it, and almost before he had righted himself in his saddle he saw that he would immediately overtake the enemy he had selected.
"But what on earth is worrying me?" he asked himself as he rode back from the general.
His love for Natasha, Antichrist, Napoleon, the invasion, the comet, 666, L'Empereur Napoleon, and L'russe Besuhof--all this had to mature and culminate, to lift him out of that spellbound, petty sphere of Moscow habits in which he felt himself held captive and lead him to a great achievement and great happiness.
After dinner the count settled himself comfortably in an easy chair and with a serious face asked Sonya, who was considered an excellent reader, to read the appeal.
After the definite refusal he had received, Petya went to his room and there locked himself in and wept bitterly.
As soon as Petya found himself in the square he clearly heard the sound of bells and the joyous voices of the crowd that filled the whole Kremlin.
When he came to himself, a man of clerical appearance with a tuft of gray hair at the back of his head and wearing a shabby blue cassock--probably a church clerk and chanter--was holding him under the arm with one hand while warding off the pressure of the crowd with the other.
Pierre pushed his way into the middle of the group, listened, and convinced himself that the man was indeed a liberal, but of views quite different from his own.
Pierre wished to say that he was ready to sacrifice his money, his serfs, or himself, only one ought to know the state of affairs in order to be able to improve it, but he was unable to speak.
Old Rostov could not tell his wife of what had passed without tears, and at once consented to Petya's request and went himself to enter his name.
At the end of the week the prince reappeared and resumed his former way of life, devoting himself with special activity to building operations and the arrangement of the gardens and completely breaking off his relations with Mademoiselle Bourienne.
In his first letter which came soon after he had left home, Prince Andrew had dutifully asked his father's forgiveness for what he had allowed himself to say and begged to be restored to his favor.
Next, bolts for the doors of the new building were wanted and had to be of a special shape the prince had himself designed, and a leather case had to be ordered to keep the "will" in.
That's not right! cried the prince, and himself pushed it a few inches from the corner and then closer in again.
Frowning with vexation at the effort necessary to divest himself of his coat and trousers, the prince undressed, sat down heavily on the bed, and appeared to be meditating as he looked contemptuously at his withered yellow legs.
Women's fuss! muttered Alpatych to himself and started on his journey, looking round at the fields of yellow rye and the still- green, thickly growing oats, and at other quite black fields just being plowed a second time.
As he went along he looked with pleasure at the year's splendid crop of corn, scrutinized the strips of ryefield which here and there were already being reaped, made his calculations as to the sowing and the harvest, and asked himself whether he had not forgotten any of the prince's orders.
Don't let those devils get it! he cried, taking some bags of flour himself and throwing them into the street.
Everything that reminded him of his past was repugnant to him, and so in his relations with that former circle he confined himself to trying to do his duty and not to be unfair.
Gently disengaging himself, the prince spurred his horse and rode down the avenue at a gallop.
One fair-haired young soldier of the third company, whom Prince Andrew knew and who had a strap round the calf of one leg, crossed himself, stepped back to get a good run, and plunged into the water; another, a dark noncommissioned officer who was always shaggy, stood up to his waist in the water joyfully wriggling his muscular figure and snorted with satisfaction as he poured the water over his head with hands blackened to the wrists.
The officer, Timokhin, with his red little nose, standing on the dam wiping himself with a towel, felt confused at seeing the prince, but made up his mind to address him nevertheless.
He decided that he would rather wash himself with water in the barn.
"Flesh, bodies, cannon fodder!" he thought, and he looked at his own naked body and shuddered, not from cold but from a sense of disgust and horror he did not himself understand, aroused by the sight of that immense number of bodies splashing about in the dirty pond.
A good reputation he made for himself at Bucharest!
But while himself remaining, he gave instructions for the departure of the princess and Dessalles with the little prince to Bogucharovo and thence to Moscow.
He himself seemed aware that his demand was meaningless.
His excellency Prince Andrew himself gave me orders to move all the people away and not leave them with the enemy, and there is an order from the Tsar about it too.
Having wrung a submissive "I understand" from Dron, Alpatych contented himself with that, though he not only doubted but felt almost certain that without the help of troops the carts would not be forthcoming.
Meanwhile he went himself to the police authorities.
"The French," replied Ilyin jestingly, "and here is Napoleon himself"-- and he pointed to Lavrushka.
Unwilling to obtrude himself on the princess, Rostov did not go back to the house but remained in the village awaiting her departure.
At the inn at Yankovo he respectfully took leave of her, for the first time permitting himself to kiss her hand.
Prince Andrew replied that he was not on his Serene Highness' staff but was himself a new arrival.
He pulled himself together, looked round, screwing up his eyes, glanced at Prince Andrew, and, evidently not recognizing him, moved with his waddling gait to the porch.
Kutuzov suddenly cried in an agitated voice, evidently picturing vividly to himself from Prince Andrew's story the condition Russia was in.
It was said that Mamonov's regiment would cost him eight hundred thousand rubles, and that Bezukhov had spent even more on his, but that the best thing about Bezukhov's action was that he himself was going to don a uniform and ride at the head of his regiment without charging anything for the show.
And he is so unreasonable, the count himself I mean.
* "Who excuses himself, accuses himself."
"Shall I join the army and enter the service, or wait?" he asked himself for the hundredth time.
"If this patience comes out," he said to himself after shuffling the cards, holding them in his hand, and lifting his head, "if it comes out, it means... what does it mean?"
He is a hypocrite, a rascal who has himself roused the people to riot.
The stout man rose, frowned, shrugged his shoulders, and evidently trying to appear firm began to pull on his jacket without looking about him, but suddenly his lips trembled and he began to cry, in the way full-blooded grown-up men cry, though angry with himself for doing so.
Pierre choked, his face puckered, and he turned hastily away, went back to his trap muttering something to himself as he went, and took his seat.
He crossed himself with an accustomed movement, bent till he touched the ground with his hand, and bowed his white head with a deep sigh.
Who would spare himself now?
At a single gesture from him everyone went out on tiptoe, leaving the great man to himself and his emotion.
Having sat still for a while he touched--himself not knowing why--the thick spot of paint representing the highest light in the portrait, rose, and recalled de Beausset and the officer on duty.
Napoleon walked about in front of his tent, looked at the fires and listened to these sounds, and as he was passing a tall guardsman in a shaggy cap, who was standing sentinel before his tent and had drawn himself up like a black pillar at sight of the Emperor, Napoleon stopped in front of him.
All the gentlemen have gone out, and his Serene Highness himself rode past long ago.
Beside himself with terror Pierre jumped up and ran back to the battery, as to the only refuge from the horrors that surrounded him.
He saw the senior officer lying on the earth wall with his back turned as if he were examining something down below and that one of the soldiers he had noticed before was struggling forward shouting "Brothers!" and trying to free himself from some men who were holding him by the arm.
The Russians might fall on his left wing, might break through his center, he himself might be killed by a stray cannon ball.
"Lie down!" cried the adjutant, throwing himself flat on the ground.
"We kicked him out from there so that he chucked everything, we grabbed the King himself!" cried he, looking around him with eyes that glittered with fever.
"What is the connection of that man with my childhood and life?" he asked himself without finding an answer.
He now remembered the connection that existed between himself and this man who was dimly gazing at him through tears that filled his swollen eyes.
Prince Andrew could no longer restrain himself and wept tender loving tears for his fellow men, for himself, and for his own and their errors.
With painful dejection he awaited the end of this action, in which he regarded himself as a participant and which he was unable to arrest.
The commander in chief listened to what was being said and sometimes asked them to repeat their remarks, but did not himself take part in the conversations or express any opinion.
"Granddad" himself, as Malasha in her own mind called Kutuzov, sat apart in a dark corner behind the oven.
The first time the young foreigner allowed himself to reproach her, she lifted her beautiful head and, half turning to him, said firmly: That's just like a man--selfish and cruel!
He felt that only in the ordinary conditions of life would he be able to understand himself and all he had seen and felt.
"And who may you be?" one of them suddenly asked Pierre, evidently meaning what Pierre himself had in mind, namely: "If you want to eat we'll give you some food, only let us know whether you are an honest man."
As he sat bending greedily over it, helping himself to large spoonfuls and chewing one after another, his face was lit up by the fire and the soldiers looked at him in silence.
Pierre went out into the yard and, covering himself up head and all, lay down in his carriage.
Scarcely had Pierre laid his head on the pillow before he felt himself falling asleep, but suddenly, almost with the distinctness of reality, he heard the boom, boom, boom of firing, the thud of projectiles, groans and cries, and smelled blood and powder, and a feeling of horror and dread of death seized him.
Again he covered himself up with his cloak, but now neither the lodge nor his benefactor was there.
There were only thoughts clearly expressed in words, thoughts that someone was uttering or that he himself was formulating.
Afterwards when he recalled those thoughts Pierre was convinced that someone outside himself had spoken them, though the impressions of that day had evoked them.
Yes, one must harness them, must harness them! he repeated to himself with inward rapture, feeling that these words and they alone expressed what he wanted to say and solved the question that tormented him.
Though this news was being concealed from the inhabitants, the officials--the heads of the various government departments--knew that Moscow would soon be in the enemy's hands, just as Count Rostopchin himself knew it, and to escape personal responsibility they had all come to the governor to ask how they were to deal with their various departments.
"That's not he himself, that's the father of the fellow who wrote the proclamation," said the adjutant.
And going to his bed he threw himself on it without undressing and immediately fell asleep.
Though she concealed from him her intention of keeping him under her wing, Petya guessed her designs, and instinctively fearing that he might give way to emotion when with her--might "become womanish" as he termed it to himself--he treated her coldly, avoided her, and during his stay in Moscow attached himself exclusively to Natasha for whom he had always had a particularly brotherly tenderness, almost lover-like.
But in general I can tell you, Papa, that such a heroic spirit, the truly antique valor of the Russian army, which they--which it" (he corrected himself) "has shown or displayed in the battle of the twenty-sixth-- there are no words worthy to do it justice!
I tell you, Papa" (he smote himself on the breast as a general he had heard speaking had done, but Berg did it a trifle late for he should have struck his breast at the words "Russian army"), "I tell you frankly that we, the commanders, far from having to urge the men on or anything of that kind, could hardly restrain those... those... yes, those exploits of antique valor," he went on rapidly.
The count was the first to rise, and with a loud sigh crossed himself before the icon.
Smiling unnaturally and muttering to himself, he first sat down on the sofa in an attitude of despair, then rose, went to the door of the reception room and peeped through the crack, returned flourishing his arms, and took up a book.
"Oh yes!" said Pierre, rousing himself and rising hurriedly.
That same evening-- without even asking himself what they were wanted for--he procured a coachman's coat and cap for Pierre, and promised to get him the pistol next day.
Kutuzov himself had driven round by side streets to the other side of Moscow.
He was himself carried away by the tone of magnanimity he intended to adopt toward Moscow.
Swaying his head and smiling as if amused at himself, the officer ran almost at a trot through the deserted streets toward the Yauza bridge to overtake his regiment.
The publican was fighting one of the smiths at the door, and when the workmen came out the smith, wrenching himself free from the tavern keeper, fell face downward on the pavement.
Lead the way to him, himself! shouted the tall youth.
Rostopchin, though he had patriotic sentiments, was a sanguine and impulsive man who had always moved in the highest administrative circles and had no understanding at all of the people he supposed himself to be guiding.
He unexpectedly felt himself ridiculous, weak, and alone, with no ground to stand on.
When, awakened from his sleep, he received that cold, peremptory note from Kutuzov, he felt the more irritated the more he felt himself to blame.
While the sea of history remains calm the ruler-administrator in his frail bark, holding on with a boat hook to the ship of the people and himself moving, naturally imagines that his efforts move the ship he is holding on to.
And this thought occurred to him just because he himself desired a victim, something on which to vent his rage.
"The mob is terrible--disgusting," he said to himself in French.
Many other victims have perished and are perishing for the public good--and he began thinking of his social duties to his family and to the city entrusted to him, and of himself--not himself as Theodore Vasilyevich Rostopchin (he fancied that Theodore Vasilyevich Rostopchin was sacrificing himself for the public good) but himself as governor, the representative of authority and of the Tsar.
Since the world began and men have killed one another no one has ever committed such a crime against his fellow man without comforting himself with this same idea.
Not only did his reason not reproach him for what he had done, but he even found cause for self-satisfaction in having so successfully contrived to avail himself of a convenient opportunity to punish a criminal and at the same time pacify the mob.
In front rode a detachment of Wurttemberg hussars and behind them rode the King of Naples himself accompanied by a numerous suite.
Next day, with the sole idea of not sparing himself and not lagging in any way behind them, Pierre went to the Three Hills gate.
In his fancy he did not clearly picture to himself either the striking of the blow or the death of Napoleon, but with extraordinary vividness and melancholy enjoyment imagined his own destruction and heroic endurance.
"Well then, take me and execute me!" he went on, speaking to himself and bowing his head with a sad but firm expression.
While Pierre, standing in the middle of the room, was talking to himself in this way, the study door opened and on the threshold appeared the figure of Makar Alexeevich, always so timid before but now quite transformed.
Hearing the yell the officer turned round, and at the same moment Pierre threw himself on the drunkard.
"I think not," answered the Frenchman, feeling himself over.
Well, and what are we to do with this man? he added, addressing himself to Pierre as to a brother.
But as the captain had the wine they had taken while passing through Moscow, he left the kvass to Morel and applied himself to the bottle of Bordeaux.
He wrapped the bottle up to its neck in a table napkin and poured out wine for himself and for Pierre.
The captain was so naively and good-humoredly gay, so real, and so pleased with himself that Pierre almost winked back as he looked merrily at him.
When the captain went out and he was left alone, suddenly he came to himself and realized the position he was in.
His eyes shone and his mustache twitched as if he were smiling to himself at some amusing thought.
Pierre again emptied his glass and poured himself out a third.
It was plain that l'amour which the Frenchman was so fond of was not that low and simple kind that Pierre had once felt for his wife, nor was it the romantic love stimulated by himself that he experienced for Natasha.
Finally, the latest episode in Poland still fresh in the captain's memory, and which he narrated with rapid gestures and glowing face, was of how he had saved the life of a Pole (in general, the saving of life continually occurred in the captain's stories) and the Pole had entrusted to him his enchanting wife (parisienne de coeur) while himself entering the French service.
Having repeated these words the captain wiped his eyes and gave himself a shake, as if driving away the weakness which assailed him at this touching recollection.
And suddenly remembering his intention he grew dizzy and felt so faint that he leaned against the fence to save himself from falling.
Seven days had passed since Prince Andrew found himself in the ambulance station on the field of Borodino.
A healthy man can tear himself away from the deepest reflections to say a civil word to someone who comes in and can then return again to his own thoughts.
And he vividly pictured to himself Natasha, not as he had done in the past with nothing but her charms which gave him delight, but for the first time picturing to himself her soul.
He carried his resolution within himself in terror and haste, like something dreadful and alien to him, for, after the previous night's experience, he was afraid of losing it.
"Don't, Mary Nikolievna!" said her husband to her in a low voice, evidently only to justify himself before the stranger.
It had a peculiarly strong effect on him because at the sight of the fire he felt himself suddenly freed from the ideas that had weighed him down.
It was now, however, impossible to get back the way he had come; the maid, Aniska, was no longer there, and Pierre with a feeling of pity and disgust pressed the wet, painfully sobbing child to himself as tenderly as he could and ran with her through the garden seeking another way out.
Prince Vasili himself, famed for his elocution, was to read it.
And Bilibin repeated the actual words of the diplomatic dispatch, which he had himself composed.
Prince Hippolyte himself glanced around with amused surprise.
He suddenly frowned, as if blaming himself for his weakness, and raising his head addressed Michaud in a firm voice:
When he heard these words and saw the expression of firm resolution in the Emperor's eyes, Michaud--quoique etranger, russe de coeur et d'ame-- at that solemn moment felt himself enraptured by all that he had heard (as he used afterwards to say), and gave expression to his own feelings and those of the Russian people whose representative he considered himself to be, in the following words:
When he had changed, poured water over his head, and scented himself, Nicholas arrived at the governor's rather late, but with the phrase "better late than never" on his lips.
Nicholas was himself rather surprised at the way he danced that evening.
Jauntily shifting the position of his legs in their tight riding breeches, diffusing an odor of perfume, and admiring his partner, himself, and the fine outlines of his legs in their well-fitting Hessian boots, Nicholas told the blonde lady that he wished to run away with a certain lady here in Voronezh.
"Oh no, we are good friends with him," said Nicholas in the simplicity of his heart; it did not enter his head that a pastime so pleasant to himself might not be pleasant to someone else.
But he also knew (or rather felt at the bottom of his heart) that by resigning himself now to the force of circumstances and to those who were guiding him, he was not only doing nothing wrong, but was doing something very important--more important than anything he had ever done in his life.
Princess Mary, having learned of her brother's wound only from the Gazette and having no definite news of him, prepared (so Nicholas heard, he had not seen her again himself) to set off in search of Prince Andrew.
He stood a little behind the governor and held himself with military decorum through the service, meditating on a great variety of subjects.
As had occurred before when she was present, Nicholas went up to her without waiting to be prompted by the governor's wife and not asking himself whether or not it was right and proper to address her here in church, and told her he had heard of her trouble and sympathized with his whole soul.
He was, however, preparing to go away and it had not entered his head to regret that he was thus depriving himself of chances of meeting her.
Pierre felt himself to be an insignificant chip fallen among the wheels of a machine whose action he did not understand but which was working well.
One crossed himself continually, the other scratched his back and made a movement of the lips resembling a smile.
(Pierre shuddered and shook himself free.)
When they began to blindfold him he himself adjusted the knot which hurt the back of his head; then when they propped him against the bloodstained post, he leaned back and, not being comfortable in that position, straightened himself, adjusted his feet, and leaned back again more comfortably.
He swayed like a drunken man, taking some steps forward and back to save himself from falling.
Then they led him away somewhere, and at last he found himself in a corner of the shed among men who were laughing and talking on all sides.
Then he took out a knife, cut something, closed the knife, placed it under the head of his bed, and, seating himself comfortably, clasped his arms round his lifted knees and fixed his eyes on Pierre.
"Well, I think you must be sleepy," said he, and began rapidly crossing himself and repeating:
He did not himself know his age and was quite unable to determine it.
And indeed he only had to lie down, to fall asleep like a stone, and he only had to shake himself, to be ready without a moment's delay for some work, just as children are ready to play directly they awake.
He was always busy, and only at night allowed himself conversation--of which he was fond--and songs.
He liked to talk and he talked well, adorning his speech with terms of endearment and with folk sayings which Pierre thought he invented himself, but the chief charm of his talk lay in the fact that the commonest events--sometimes just such as Pierre had witnessed without taking notice of them--assumed in Karataev's a character of solemn fitness.
That she had not heard from Prince Andrew himself, Princess Mary attributed to his being too weak to write or to his considering the long journey too hard and too dangerous for her and his son.
When during those first days he remembered that he would have to die, he said to himself: Well, what of it?
He felt himself nearer to it.
Napoleon himself was in Moscow as late as the twenty-fifth.
But by the time this letter, which proved that the real relation of the forces had already made itself felt in Petersburg, was dispatched, Kutuzov had found himself unable any longer to restrain the army he commanded from attacking and a battle had taken place.
Kutuzov began, but checked himself immediately and sent for a senior officer.
He understood that for him the storm had blown over, and that Kutuzov would content himself with that hint.
The battle of Tarutino obviously did not attain the aim Toll had in view--to lead the troops into action in the order prescribed by the dispositions; nor that which Count Orlov-Denisov may have had in view-- to take Murat prisoner; nor the result of immediately destroying the whole corps, which Bennigsen and others may have had in view; nor the aim of the officer who wished to go into action to distinguish himself; nor that of the Cossack who wanted more booty than he got, and so on.
He employed all his ability and strength to do the best he could for himself and his army, as he had done previously and as he did subsequently in 1813.
The Emperor rode through the streets to comfort the inhabitants, and, despite his preoccupation with state affairs, himself visited the theaters that were established by his order.
But even as he spoke he began to doubt whether this was the corporal he knew or a stranger, so unlike himself did the corporal seem at that moment.
It again!... said Pierre to himself, and an involuntary shudder ran down his spine.
See how that fellow has loaded himself up, he can hardly walk!
And he said aloud to himself: The soldier did not let me pass.
You damned rascal, where do you always hide it? said the voice of the man who was stretching himself, to the orderly.
He did not consider or ask himself whether the news was good or bad.
Since Bennigsen, who corresponded with the Emperor and had more influence than anyone else on the staff, had begun to avoid him, Kutuzov was more at ease as to the possibility of himself and his troops being obliged to take part in useless aggressive movements.
And the more he desired it the less he allowed himself to believe it.
But that native land was too far off, and for a man going a thousand miles it is absolutely necessary to set aside his final goal and to say to himself: "Today I shall get to a place twenty-five miles off where I shall rest and spend the night," and during the first day's journey that resting place eclipses his ultimate goal and attracts all his hopes and desires.
Each of them desired nothing more than to give himself up as a prisoner to escape from all this horror and misery; but on the one hand the force of this common attraction to Smolensk, their goal, drew each of them in the same direction; on the other hand an army corps could not surrender to a company, and though the French availed themselves of every convenient opportunity to detach themselves and to surrender on the slightest decent pretext, such pretexts did not always occur.
"Oh, the devil!" exclaimed Denisov angrily, and showing his teeth he struck his horse three times with his whip, splashing himself and his comrades with mud.
But it is not presupposable that it is the lieutenant colonel himself, said the esaul, who was fond of using words the Cossacks did not know.
"Will there be any orders, your honor?" he asked Denisov, holding his hand at the salute and resuming the game of adjutant and general for which he had prepared himself, "or shall I remain with your honor?"
Denisov himself intended going with the esaul and Petya to the edge of the forest where it reached out to Shamshevo, to have a look at the part of the French bivouac they were to attack next day.
When Denisov had come to Pokrovsk at the beginning of his operations and had as usual summoned the village elder and asked him what he knew about the French, the elder, as though shielding himself, had replied, as all village elders did, that he had neither seen nor heard anything of them.
Next day when Denisov had left Pokrovsk, having quite forgotten about this peasant, it was reported to him that Tikhon had attached himself to their party and asked to be allowed to remain with it.
Denisov smiled, and Petya burst into a peal of merry laughter in which Tikhon himself joined.
He felt it necessary to hold his head higher, to brace himself, and to question the esaul with an air of importance about tomorrow's undertaking, that he might not be unworthy of the company in which he found himself.
Oh, you want a knife? he said, turning to an officer who wished to cut himself a piece of mutton.
But having caught himself saying too much about the flints, he was now afraid to speak out.
"I might ask," he thought, "but they'll say: 'He's a boy himself and so he pities the boy.'
He is warming himself there by the bonfire.
Petya had heard in the army many stories of Dolokhov's extraordinary bravery and of his cruelty to the French, so from the moment he entered the hut Petya did not take his eyes from him, but braced himself up more and more and held his head high, that he might not be unworthy even of such company.
Dolokhov remarked that the Cossacks were a danger only to stragglers such as his companion and himself, "but probably they would not dare to attack large detachments?" he added inquiringly.
He sat awhile in the hut joyfully recalling the details of his expedition and vividly picturing to himself what would happen next day.
Oh, he's thrown himself down there in the passage.
Petya did not know how long this lasted: he enjoyed himself all the time, wondered at his enjoyment and regretted that there was no one to share it.
Petya shook himself, jumped up, took a ruble from his pocket and gave it to Likhachev; then he flourished the saber, tested it, and sheathed it.
Denisov did not reply; he rode up to Petya, dismounted, and with trembling hands turned toward himself the bloodstained, mud-bespattered face which had already gone white.
The harder his position became and the more terrible the future, the more independent of that position in which he found himself were the joyful and comforting thoughts, memories, and imaginings that came to him.
He lifted himself and sat up.
And though they pretended to be concerned about the army, each was thinking only of himself and of how to get away quickly and save himself.
Who has not asked himself how it is that the French were not all captured or destroyed when our three armies surrounded them in superior numbers, when the disordered French, hungry and freezing, surrendered in crowds, and when (as the historians relate) the aim of the Russians was to stop the French, to cut them off, and capture them all?
So it was at Krasnoe, where they expected to find one of the three French columns and stumbled instead on Napoleon himself with sixteen thousand men.
Miloradovich, who said he did not want to know anything about the commissariat affairs of his detachment, and could never be found when he was wanted--that chevalier sans peur et sans reproche * as he styled himself--who was fond of parleys with the French, sent envoys demanding their surrender, wasted time, and did not do what he was ordered to do.
Kutuzov never talked of "forty centuries looking down from the Pyramids," of the sacrifices he offered for the fatherland, or of what he intended to accomplish or had accomplished; in general he said nothing about himself, adopted no pose, always appeared to be the simplest and most ordinary of men, and said the simplest and most ordinary things.
Obviously in spite of himself, in very diverse circumstances, he repeatedly expressed his real thoughts with the bitter conviction that he would not be understood.
"Ah, the standards!" said Kutuzov, evidently detaching himself with difficulty from the thoughts that preoccupied him.
"There are gentry here; the general himself is in that hut, and you foul-mouthed devils, you brutes, I'll give it to you!" shouted he, hitting the first man who came in his way a swinging blow on the back.
"Well, you know," said the sharp-nosed man they called Jackdaw in a squeaky and unsteady voice, raising himself at the other side of the fire, "a plump man gets thin, but for a thin one it's death.
They say Platov took 'Poleon himself twice.
The older men, who thought it undignified to amuse themselves with such nonsense, continued to lie at the opposite side of the fire, but one would occasionally raise himself on an elbow and glance at Morel with a smile.
"They are men too," said one of them as he wrapped himself up in his coat.
The Emperor with a rapid glance scanned Kutuzov from head to foot, frowned for an instant, but immediately mastering himself went up to the old man, extended his arms and embraced him.
Just then he was only anxious to get away as quickly as possible from places where people were killing one another, to some peaceful refuge where he could recover himself, rest, and think over all the strange new facts he had learned; but on reaching Orel he immediately fell ill.
But for a long time in his dreams he still saw himself in the conditions of captivity.
How splendid! said he to himself when a cleanly laid table was moved up to him with savory beef tea, or when he lay down for the night on a soft clean bed, or when he remembered that the French had gone and that his wife was no more.
And by old habit he asked himself the question: Well, and what then?
And he immediately gave himself the answer: Well, I shall live.
He had equipped himself with a mental telescope and looked into remote space, where petty worldliness hiding itself in misty distance had seemed to him great and infinite merely because it was not clearly seen.
But to his surprise Willarski soon noticed that Pierre had lagged much behind the times, and had sunk, as he expressed it to himself, into apathy and egotism.
He regarded all these occupations as hindrances to life, and considered that they were all contemptible because their aim was the welfare of himself and his family.
In practical matters Pierre unexpectedly felt within himself a center of gravity he had previously lacked.
Pierre felt particularly well disposed toward them all, but was now instinctively on his guard for fear of binding himself in any way.
He felt himself not only free from social obligations but also from that feeling which, it seemed to him, he had aroused in himself.
But the more he tried to hide it the more clearly--clearer than any words could have done--did he betray to himself, to her, and to Princess Mary that he loved her.
He was thinking of Prince Andrew, of Natasha, and of their love, at one moment jealous of her past, then reproaching himself for that feeling.
Evidently it has to be so, said he to himself, and hastily undressing he got into bed, happy and agitated but free from hesitation or indecision.
No, it can't be, he told himself at every look, gesture, and word that filled his soul with joy.
He did not repeat to himself with a sickening feeling of shame the words he had spoken, or say: "Oh, why did I not say that?" and, "Whatever made me say 'Je vous aime'?"
A joyful, unexpected frenzy, of which he had thought himself incapable, possessed him.
Sometimes it seemed to him that other people were all as pleased as he was himself and merely tried to hide that pleasure by pretending to be busy with other interests.
He also acted badly by concerning himself with the active army and disbanding the Semenov regiment.
In alarm he wishes to flee, considering himself lost.
It is not Napoleon who prepares himself for the accomplishment of his role, so much as all those round him who prepare him to take on himself the whole responsibility for what is happening and has to happen.
Napoleon himself is no longer of any account; all his actions are evidently pitiful and mean, but again an inexplicable chance occurs.
And some years pass during which he plays a pitiful comedy to himself in solitude on his island, justifying his actions by intrigues and lies when the justification is no longer needed, and displaying to the whole world what it was that people had mistaken for strength as long as an unseen hand directed his actions.
He seemed carefully to cherish within himself the gloomy mood which alone enabled him to endure his position.
From reports current in town she learned how the Rostovs were situated, and how "the son has sacrificed himself for his mother," as people were saying.
He did not allow himself either to be hard on or punish a man, or to make things easy for or reward anyone, merely because he felt inclined to do so.
"And fairness, of course," he added, "for if the peasant is naked and hungry and has only one miserable horse, he can do no good either for himself or for me."
And all Nicholas did was fruitful--probably just because he refused to allow himself to think that he was doing good to others for virtue's sake.
But he did forget himself once or twice within a twelvemonth, and then he would go and confess to his wife, and would again promise that this should really be the very last time.
He did not concern himself with the interests of his own class, and consequently some thought him proud and others thought him stupid.
In autumn he gave himself up to hunting with the same business-like seriousness--leaving home for a month, or even two, with his hunt.
Before that, Nicholas had told his wife all that had passed between himself and Sonya, blaming himself and commending her.
In her absence Nicholas allowed himself to give his little daughter a gallop round the room.
When Pierre himself wanted to change his mind she would fight him with his own weapons.
He felt the good and bad within himself inextricably mingled and overlapping.
He did not miss a single word he uttered, and would afterwards, with Dessalles or by himself, recall and reconsider the meaning of everything Pierre had said.
Knowing that Natasha asked nothing for herself, and gave him commissions for others only when he himself had offered to undertake them, he now found an unexpected and childlike pleasure in this purchase of presents for everyone in the house, and never forgot anything.
"When you are here he can't tear himself away," she said.
The curly- headed, delicate boy sat with shining eyes unnoticed in a corner, starting every now and then and muttering something to himself, and evidently experiencing a new and powerful emotion as he turned his curly head, with his thin neck exposed by his turn-down collar, toward the place where Pierre sat.
He has abandoned himself altogether to this mysticism (Pierre could not tolerate mysticism in anyone now).
This evening he listened to Pierre in a sort of trance, and fancy--as we were going in to supper I looked and he had broken everything on my table to bits, and he told me of it himself at once!
What will become of us if she dies, as I always fear when her face is like that? thought he, and placing himself before the icon he began to say his evening prayers.
In his place was his father-- Prince Andrew--and his father had neither shape nor form, but he existed, and when little Nicholas perceived him he grew faint with love: he felt himself powerless, limp, and formless.
This conception is the one handle by means of which the material of history, as at present expounded, can be dealt with, and anyone who breaks that handle off, as Buckle did, without finding some other method of treating historical material, merely deprives himself of the one possible way of dealing with it.
(With this method of observation it often happens that the observer, influenced by the direction he himself prefers, regards those as leaders who, owing to the people's change of direction, are no longer in front, but on one side, or even in the rear.)
Only the expression of the will of the Deity, not dependent on time, can relate to a whole series of events occurring over a period of years or centuries, and only the Deity, independent of everything, can by His sole will determine the direction of humanity's movement; but man acts in time and himself takes part in what occurs.
To understand in what this dependence consists it is necessary to reinstate another omitted condition of every command proceeding not from the Deity but from a man, which is, that the man who gives the command himself takes part in the event.
The soldier himself does the stabbing, hacking, burning, and pillaging, and always receives orders for these actions from men above him; he himself never gives an order.
An officer still less often acts directly himself, but commands still more frequently.
Through his reason man observes himself, but only through consciousness does he know himself.
To understand, observe, and draw conclusions, man must first of all be conscious of himself as living.
A man is only conscious of himself as a living being by the fact that he wills, that is, is conscious of his volition.
A sinking man who clutches at another and drowns him; or a hungry mother exhausted by feeding her baby, who steals some food; or a man trained to discipline who on duty at the word of command kills a defenseless man-- seem less guilty, that is, less free and more subject to the law of necessity, to one who knows the circumstances in which these people were placed, and more free to one who does not know that the man was himself drowning, that the mother was hungry, that the soldier was in the ranks, and so on.
Maybe Señor Medena was trying to ingratiate himself with Alex.
He dropped to a chair and built himself a sandwich.
Would you believe he covers up with the excuse that he's saving himself for one special girl?
Had he given himself to the wrong woman?
He turned to the stove, pouring himself another cup of coffee and leaned against the counter, watching her thoughtfully as he sipped the coffee.
Had he brought her all the way out here to force himself on her?
The accused himself would be hot to eliminate his accuser.
I'm certain he doesn't realize it, but he does put himself first.
He introduced himself simply as Frank and said he was at my disposal.
In Howie's troubled mind did he believe himself the coward?
"I should go," he said and pushed himself away.
For the first time in years, he found himself wondering what it would be like to feel again.
Dusty excused himself to join the Guardian.
Darian fought himself, groping with glazed eyes for the crumpled Oracle.
"Run for the river!" shouted the Wizard, and Jim quickly freed himself from his unseen tormenters by a few vicious kicks and then obeyed.
"I will," said the boy, and let himself slide over the edge.
In the closets he discovered many fancy costumes of rich velvets and brocades, and one of the attendants told him to dress himself in any of the clothes that pleased him and to be prepared to dine with the Princess and Dorothy in an hour's time.
A fine supper was prepared, and the innkeeper himself waited upon his guest.
Dr. Bell went with us himself to the electrical building, and showed us some of the historical telephones.
He is going to get himself killed.
At times he seemed on the verge of revealing it to Adrienne, only to draw back into himself and avoid her for days.
They learned that Chilon was a very quiet man, that he never spoke about himself, and that he spent all his time in trying to make his country great and strong and happy.
(Of course, when a king proves himself through battle, he is not risking his life but the lives of thousands of his subjects.
If he had not taken upon himself the responsibility of Laura Bridgman's education and led her out of the pit of Acheron back to her human inheritance, should I be a sophomore at Radcliffe College to-day--who can say?
However, if one designs to construct a dwelling-house, it behooves him to exercise a little Yankee shrewdness, lest after all he find himself in a workhouse, a labyrinth without a clue, a museum, an almshouse, a prison, or a splendid mausoleum instead.
He imagined only important possibilities: "If the enemy attacks the right flank," he said to himself, "the Kiev grenadiers and the Podolsk chasseurs must hold their position till reserves from the center come up.